Over the last few weeks my mind has been buzzing with the operating instructions of a new washing machine in the house.
The new piece of machinery, simple as it may seem, strikes me as a marvelous Jugalbandi of three seemingly unrelated areas of engineering – Mechanical, Electrical and Electronics. Add software engineering to that if you are a purist that thinks software technically does not fall under electronics.
I have come to realize two key things.
One is how incredible embedded software really is. The possibilities are endless. Just one line of code can present a completely wacky new feature that can change your concept of automated convenience.
The other thing is the uncanny resemblance this has with how women affect Jobi.
But let me explain. Let me rewind to about 5 days when Jobi – reaffirming his stereotype – called me around 1am.“Dude.” “Hmmm” “Dude.” “Hmmm” “Dude.” “What is it man! It is 1am and I am already in bed! Shoot!” “OK..errr..dude..” ” “, Heavy breathing on my side of the phone. “Jobi…spit it out. Or I am hanging up” “OK…dude…see it is like this” “Like what” “I love her eyes” “You what?” “Love her eyes. They make me feel fuzzy in the head” “OK. Now can i go back to sleep?” “She makes my knees weak and wobbly.” “Are you sure its not arthritis?” “NO dude. No. Its not. I love her! And I worship the ground she walks on” “Ok. Congrats. Now good night.”
You might think I was heartless. A heart in a state of excitement on finding another is not brushed aside so insensitively, I hear you think.
Well, it will help my case if you know this event is as infrequent as the high tide, and as unheard of like traffic near Milan Subway. Not one week passes without Jobi calling frantically to declare he has found the dream girl he was always looking for.
Women have a rather strange effect on Jobi. His eyes get transfixed, his mouth goes dry, his neck becomes stiff, hair stands up, knees, as you just heard, go all wobbly and knock about like it was dandia time.
And each time he meets a girl he goes over all that all over again.
Warm feelings slosh about beneath his chest. Sometimes its her eyes, sometimes a dimple that brightens the world when she smiles at something goofy he says, sometimes it is her hair or the way she tosses it back. There are more, oh yes, there are, but they all contribute much to make the sloshing more intense.
And, of course, the intensity varies. The Slosh Quotient determines how crazy she drives him. And as far as I am concerned, the higher the Slosh Quotient, the more unearthly the hour is when he calls me.
Each woman turns these dials in a unique combination and sets Jobi off on a wild mushy sloshtrip.
And I cant help thinking how uncanny this resemblance is.
But really. It is not just Jobi and his Slosh Quotient. You can substitute any parameter(anger, annoyance, love, hunger, reaction to blogs by incredible writers who write about parallels between washing machine dials and effect of women, etc, you name it) that fancies you and see how things wash in your life.
I promise to write a worthwhile, meaningful post next time.