Are you rubbing your eyes? Did your eyes pass over that title more than once before you got here?
Well relax. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your eyesight. If you read I Waxed my hair, then your eyesight is fine. Because that’s what I meant to write – I waxed my hair. So stop rubbing your eyes.

Or if you are reading this from the floor with an aching gluteus, I must apologize. I’m sorry it shook you off your chair. Now get up and read the rest of the story. Its quite hair rising. Actually, it’s worse than hair rising. Considering what a terrible accident it could have been, your hair could rise so much that if the roots of your hair weren’t strong and sufficiently nourished, they could pop out of your scalp.

So yeah. I did that. I waxed my hair. And my eyebrows and eye lashes too. But to establish my own continued sanity, I must tell you it was quite an impulsive job, me waxing my hair. And it had nothing to do with my will, interest or inclination. Nothing I had quite aspired for, really. Nothing I had fancied from childhood. Nothing I had dreamt of, sitting at the last bench during geography class.

It was triggered actually by a very misplaced feeling i admit, yet disturbing and arguably traumatic. Around 8 pm last night, the world disappeared from in front of my eyes. The color disappeared from everything and it was quite surreal. I was with T and I said, “something’s very wrong. All the objects suddenly have no color!!! And hey I can’t see any shapes. Every edge has goFigure - 1Figure - 1ne. The world is without edges. And there’s only black!!!!”

I was half scared, half hysterical, half scientifically curious, half excited….hang on, I lost control, too many halves there…. Well in anycase, I felt all those things simultaneously. I remember, in that flash of a passing moment when that all this happened, thinking if an experience of some such freak phenomena gave Picasso his inspiration.

“Shut up.”

I heard a bored voice from not far…I was glad to hear that. Sound frequencies were intact. Phew. There was some magnetic or some photonic activity that skewed vision, but not sound. And then I heard a hard surface scrape on a rough surface..and I heard T continue “its just a power cut”. And the match sprang into life and there was light again! Soon my heart was beating at its normal rate and knowing it was but a mere power cut, I lit a candle and sat in the dim light. It was a funny candle – one of those stout, color candles that don’t melt evenly but burn a deep crater form around the wick. The longer it burns, the deeper the crater. And the melted wax collects in this crater.

In about 30 minutes, the power came back. I had to blow the candle. And for those of you who follow my life with interest, I hate the smell of a recently extinguished smoking candle wick. I really do. I’ve caught myself many times immersing a candle in a bucket of water instead of blowing it out.

When I became sufficiently brave, after what appeared to be a significant wait, I took to pushing the candle wick into the hot wax so it won’t smoke after the flame goes out. And yesterday some freak gray cells in my brain got wired wrongly for an instant. And I thought if I blew real hard at the candle flame, the wick would get pushed and get submerged in the wax.

And withought thinking, I blew. Hard. Really hard. And almost before all the air left my lungs, I felt a million droplets of hot wax attacking my face (refer diagram for Figure 1scientific justification of outcome). Figure - 1Figure - 1Trouble was along with those million droplets, some really big globules traveled too. And settled at random spots on my face. Forehead, hair, eyebrows, eye lids, temple, eye lashes, cheek bones, nose….ugh oh you know it. If you are familiar with the real estate of the face, let me leave it up to you to picture wax every where. Its traumatic trying to describe each spot now.

The globules that settled on my hair, hardened and my hair was all stuck together and messy. my eyebrows and face had wax spots on red, burnt skin spots. i think i looked like the candle itself for a while. Stout and colored with a little wick.

At least thats how I felt at that moment.

Around that time, I was glad I closed my eyes about 2/3rd of a second before I had hot wax descending on it. Or I really would have to say again,

“Something’s very wrong!! All the objects suddenly have no color!!! And hey I can’t see any shapes. Every edge has gone. The world is without edges. And there’s only black!!!!”