Pathe

Entries categorized as ‘History’

Hey, Don’t Rush Me!!

April 6, 2008 · 2 Comments

Updated..

What an incredible journey it has been. As man evolved, so has his accessory.

 

Each accessory has brought its own unique shifts in abilities, thinking, culture, direction…and each accessory has defined, facilitated, fanned and spurred the creation of the next. 

As the accessory got more sophisticated, the next level of evolution has taken less time, making the whole cycle even more rapid with the advent of the technology revolution.

And then something happened. Someone slammed on the brakes when mankind was cruising at a respectable rate of acceleration. 

Vista.

 

————————————————————

 Note on Making of “Hey, Don’t Rush Me!”

Search "evolution of man"(GoogleImages) :    0.16 seconds
Copy Original image (3rd from top)      :    0.55 seconds
Paste imgage in folder                  :    1.2 seconds
Open copied image with MS Paint         :    2.2 seconds
Select evolving man in front of computer:    3.5 seconds
Paste,arrange; Paste,arrange; P,A; P,A  :    7.0 seconds
Save as Evolution2.jpg                  :    3.0 seconds
Upload all images                       :    1.00 minute
                         TOTAL(CPU time):1 minute 18.6 seconds
NOTE: No Vista was used in the making of this post.
Only XP was used to to prevent boomeranging of thought and to avoid situation represented in fig. 4

Categories: 'Huh?!' · Environment · Evolution · History · Insight · Life · MS Pista · Pathe-ology · Pista · Technology · Vista oru Pista

A Matter of Spiritual Quest

March 7, 2008 · 4 Comments

They burst into the room palpitating.

Their faces were pale, lips dry and relief writ large in 48 pt Arial Black Bold Underline.  There was an overpowering aura of nervous energy about them. Their hands were trembling.

“Here!” Thundered Siva, proving once and for all that he was the King of Jugaad. He thrust a bag into TPs hands. I could tell it had taken him huge effort to thunder out the “Here.”

TP took the bag silently. The delight of getting a bag of Green Label was lost in the graveness of the situation.

We sat in silence. Four of us around the three guys who had just returned. They were gradually getting their breath back and the colour was slowly coming back to their faces.

And all of a sudden Bhai lashed out at Siva.

“Mediclaim Id Card!!! What where you thinking!!”
“Do you know what they could’ve done to you?” said Joy.
“To us!”barked Bhai angrily at Joy.
“Yeah! To US!” barked Joy at Siva.
“Heh heh heh” grinned shiva sheepishly.”it’s cool, machaan!”
“Cool, my foot!” said Bhai.

I broke in and cross talked. “Do you guys mind very much telling us what happened or are you going to yell at each other the rest of the night?”

“See”, started Joy. “We found a small dark lane that had a wine shop that sold booze through the night.  So we parked our bikes, Bhai and I went to the shop and Siva went to buy smokes from somewhere.”

When we were walking back, Machaan!! COPS!!” Said Joy. “they were waiting for us near our bikes!”

I was getting a little unsettled. These guys had done or almost done something really stupid. In fact I had a sneaking suspicion they would go and get themselves into trouble.

Bhai interjected. “We were doing perfectly fine dealing with them and we were about to send them off. That’s when this ass decided to show up and pull his trick”

And then came a rather unusual story that has haunted us ever since.

Let me give you the background.

It all started about an hour earlier. At KH51.

Around 12.45 am 7 guys put their empty glasses on the KH51 floor in unison with a resounding clunk after doing a bottoms up. For it was the last drink.

The night was young. The mood was high. And 7 minds on the brink of intoxication felt strong, inviolable, infallible, even bombproof. Minds, teetering on the brink of intoxication, teased for more. A few more swigs would be good wonderful great divine. Of course. Spiritual even.

But the bottles were dry. Supplies had exhausted.

For all its positioning as a booze haven, replenishing supply of liquor that particular night in Pondicherry at that particular time was not merely mushkil, it was damn near naamumkin.

Maybe numkeen for the booze, but booze, namumkin (hehe couldn’t resist that one).

But have more, we must, and get more, we shall. Of course, we were in ‘college’. Someone had to. And that someone had to be a jugaad king, who could negotiate and manoeuvre around  any impossibility that life throws out. Or any law the constitution spews out.

And, more significantly, it meant someone going out, all the way 15 km to buy maal.

And return. In one piece.            

That was not something everyone wanted to risk.

In moments like these TP was always the one to take charge, to rise to the occasion and volunteer like a real salt of the earth.

“Siva will go!” he said.

As for Siva, he  was from a different league altogether. It was a big mystery to everyone why he did some of the things he did. And why he didn’t do some of the things he didn’t do. For he led an existence on campus never knowing that he could say no. Indeed, he never came to realize he had an option not to say yes.

Joy and Bhai jumped into the frey for the sheer adventure that it all seemed to promise.

Sure there was adventure. Consider – they had to sneak out of campus from under the nose of the campus security and the patrol police, drive safely in the darkest 15km stretch of ECR all the way to Pondicherry town, not get stopped and arrested by cops for drunk-biking, ask around and find a corrupt man who could sell booze at that time of night, turn around, drive out of the town without getting mugged, and drive all the way back on ECR, sneak past security at gate, and police patrol, have enough gas left to drive in 2km and bring the bottle(s) without breaking them. Oh there was going to be adventure, alright!

We watched the two bikes sputter off At 1.10 am.

We sent them off and immediately began worrying ourselves silly and praying for the trio’s safety over a glass each of the triplex TP had pulled out the moment after the three left. He had hidden it under sheer selfishness and some books for some ‘emergency’.

So as the emergency was fast disappearing our prayers became more intense and as time ticked by, we were getting more anxious.

And so imagine our chargin as the bursting-through-the-door happened and they took to abusing each other – they did return in one piece but now we had to know what had happened.

“Trauma Card kudukrey!! Passport illiya” Bhai had this propensity to Tamil when he got excited. The two guys were laying it thick on Siva.

“Chumma they won’t just arrest” Joy happily added ghee to the fire.

“Forgery, spying, and anti-terrorism le book pandradu, ariyo!” it was Bhai Mulling in Tamil. 

TP broke in this time.”Pass the glasses” he said.

Silence took over for a brief moment as all hands greedily reached for a glass.

“What happened?” asked Srini who was quiet all this time.

As it happened, the cops were questioning Bhai and Joy.

“What are you doing at this time of night?” asked the cops.

“Nothing sar”

“Nothinga!?”

“Where are you coming from?”

“Err..Sar, pissing saar”

“Dai, you should feel ashamed. Padicha pasanga, educated and

all, on roadle pissinga! Tsk.Tsk. Go back home! Your parents

spend so much on you to get you educated and you are

pissing on road…”

“Whats going on here!”

All of them turn. A silhouette of a 6 feet tall man sporting a smart crew cut is walking up to them.

Joy and Bhai look at each other.

“This is P.V.Krishnasamy” and the silhouette pulls out the ID card from the pocket, holds it up in the air and grandly announces, “from CBI”

The CBI officer unfortunately made one small error of judgement. He had inadvertently held out his Accident Trauma Mediclaim Card against the street light in full view of the cops and the two college kids.

We hardly slept that night. The officer never got a chance to tell us how they managed to wriggle out of that one.

The booze ran out quickly and it might have as well been water. I suspect it was the booze that gave us a bad stomach cramp that lasted a whole week after that night.

Categories: College · History · Life · Life on Campus · Pathe-ology · Snatches of Memories

Arrested Development

April 15, 2007 · 4 Comments

Many years ago, a man was flying a kite. He was a quirky man. For which man would think of combining outlandish ideas with the rather straight forward and simple activity of kite flying?

This man did. And history rewarded him with, I dare say, gratuitous, and in my horribly politically wrong opinion, glory.

I am beginning to realize that the Modus Operandi of this man was rather simple and, brace yourself – this is going to be an oft-repeated word in this post, outlandish. He tried irrelevant, unrelated, bizzare combinations of odd activities and things to arrive at inventions.

Take Kite flying. A rather simple, straight forward pastime for many. Here in India we even have a structured ‘Tyohaar’ around kite flying. And for generations we have done it like normal people would – flying kites and getting a kick out of simply flying kites, certainly not getting outlandish or quirky with the activity.

But this man, he did. He couldn’t simply just fly a kite. He had to make the pursuit outlandish. He dipped the twine first in milk, and then flew the kite. Nothing noteworthy happened.

So he dipped it in honey. Flew the kite. Again, nothing.

And then dipped the sad twine in wine and flew the kite again. And then in milk, honey and wine and then flew the kite.

Still nothing.

Then he tried flying the kite with nothing else but just a pair of socks on. Later with just one bare foot. He even tied the twine around his toe and jumped into a lake to see if the airborne kite would transport him across to the other end – this is recorded, btw.

Then he tried flying the kite wearing a pumpkin head-gear (chop the pumpkin in half, scoop out the seeds from one half and turn it upside down on your head – Voila! Your own personalized pumpkin head-gear is ready!). But BF, being one of our most famous inventors, had a head packed with more gray matter than normal heads, which is why he was an inventor par excellence. He invented things as routinely as we eat Chaat. And for the same reason he wasted several pumpkins, for in order to accommodate all the extra gray cells, he had an oversized head. In the pursuit of finding the right size of head-gear, he had to deal with several sizes of pumpkins and wasted a lot of time, not to mention money, before he could find the right fit for his head. By then monsoon was approaching. Although he wasn’t able to hit on any invention for the longest time, he kept on.

And then the quirky man came up with the most bizarre and outlandish thing any one could have come up with – the thought of sliding in a key around the twine.

A key! A key!!!!??? Why!! How!???? Who would ever think of sliding a key around the twine. It could have well been a ring, a tap, table, a book, or even a cow for goodness sakes.

But tried as he did, it was impossible to slip it inside, for the kite was bigger than the loop in the key. So after a few weeks, with sore arms and a very airborne kite, while he was about to melt the key, he realized that a twine has the tendency to always have two ends. And that’s when the thought of the simpler idea of slipping the key in from the other end of the twine occured to him. And he slipped it in with delight.

And then it struck him. Actually two things struck him.

The first was a bolt of lightening, owing to the conducting key around a twine attached to an airborne kite.

The other was his wife.

“I should have you arrested for this. You’ve been out of the house with that stupid kite for 4 months. Theres hardly anything to eat. And if I was any cruel, I’d have wished that bolt of lightening had a better effect on you. And I ought to have the lightening arrested too for letting you off so easily!”

And that’s how with the invention of the lightening arrester, the story of electricity was born. Theres huge debate on whether BF invented electricity. Oh theres a bigger debate whether anyone INVENTED electricity at all, for it was always there, and could have only been discovered.

But the general opinion seems to be that BF at best invented the Lightening Arrester, although I happen to believe his wife should be given the credit for it.

Benjamin Franklin has an incredible track record. He truly has been active all his life right till the age of 84. He is arguably one of the most active scientific minds the history of mankind has ever known. And thankfully to my advantage, he was also regarded as a humorist. Andthats one reason I took the liberty of talking about him in such a tone. I dont wear a hat, but I could buy one so I could truly do it and mean it when I say, “Hats off to you Ben!”

A snapshot of the roles he played along his long, eventful life
A:Abolitionist Almanac maker Advertiser B: Balloon enthusiast Bifocals inventor C: Composer Cartoonist Civic Citizen Chess Player D: Deist Diplomat Daylight Savings advocate E: Enlightenment thinker Electricity pioneer Experimenter Entrepreneur F: Founding Father Flirt Fire fighter G: Glass Armonica creator Gulf Stream mapper Genius H: Humorist Health nut I: Inventor International celebrity Insurer J: Junto creator Journalist K: Kite flyer L: Librarian Lightning rod inventor Londoner M: Medical Engineer Militia member Mathematician Mason N: Natural philosopher O: Organizer (militia, fire dept., street cleaning) Odometer maker P: Printer Public relations master Publisher Prankster Q: Questioner Quartermaster Quintessential American R: Revolutionary Reader S: Scientist Swimmer Self-made man T: Traveler Treaty signer U: University builder V: Volunteer Visionary Vegetarian (temporarily) W: Writer Weight lifter X: Xenophile Y: Young prodigy Yankee Yarn spinner Z: Zealot

Categories: History